Break Me Down Slowly

I can’t ever be still
Even when I lay here
Like a stone

Always on guard
Knowing you will destroy me
Even if I don’t move a muscle

There’s never any peace
When I’m feeling so weak

It breaks me down slowly
Until I’m left with nothing
But the voices in my head

They bring me to my knees
Making it so I’m afraid to feel

No use in fighting back
When I’m trapped
In a world where I don’t belong

So I’m just living to die
Going out of my mind
Asking the reasons why

But then there’s just silence

Leaving Her Behind

Stripped
To The Bone
I Can’t See
Anything
Except For
This White Wall

I Don’t Know
What’s Coming
But I Know
It Can’t
Be Good

He Doesn’t
Make A Sound
So I’m On The Edge
Waiting
For The Next Attack

He Comes Up
Behind Me
And My Heart
Drops

I Run Away
From Myself
And Let Her
Take The Fall

He Loves
To Make
Me Watch
So I’ll Feel Guilt
For Something
That Isn’t
My Fault

It Doesn’t Matter
If He’s The One
To Blame
Because
I’ll Always Feel
Ashamed
For Leaving
Her Behind

She’s A Fighter
Unlike Me

At Least
That’s What I Tell
Myself
Because The Truth
Hurts
When You’ve Been Tortured
Into Believing
A Lie

Light In The Dark

They said it wasn’t real
But couldn’t even feel
The struggle that was faced
And hidden away
Even from myself.

Delusional in the mind
Because I went far away
Into a place inside myself
Where I could feel safe.

Only seeing my faults
They never saw the truth
Forcing me to play pretend.

In my own personal hell
The demons took control.
I was so lost in the noise
Feeding my addictions
And sleeping around.
No love to be found.

Taking away my dignity
Gagged and bound
And fucked all around.

Fucked in my head.
Fucked in my bed.
Fucked in my heart.
Fucked from the start.

Trying to regain control
But only making it worse.
Helping them push me under.
Completely unaware
Of the consequences
And the pain it would cause.

I pushed myself over the edge
Because I refused to recognize
The damage that had been done.

Escaping it all once again.
Believing I could finally move on.
Carrying a heavy burden
That constantly weighed me down
While losing myself in the process.

I just sort of faded in and out.

Falling away from the moment.
Keeping me away from my dreams
And everything I thought I could be.

Now that I’m finally free
I can see a light inside.

My soul on fire
Feeling the passion
Run right through me.

No longer wanting to hide.
Coming out into the open
And letting go.

Finally in control.
The world now sees me
For who I really am
Whether they want to
Accept it or not.

Fighting the resistance
I won’t back down.
Even if they tell me
Not to make a sound
I can’t stay silent now.

 

Written by : Ruby

Street Life

Approaching with caution
Don’t want to startle her
As I go to lend a helping hand.

She stares at the ground
And slowly looks up
Barely muttering a “Thank You”.

It’s hard for her to speak.
With her knees so weak
And jaw clenched tight.

It’s a struggle everyday
With an empty stomach
And a sense of loss
That vibrates from every pore.

I want to relate
Because I’ve been there before
But something holds back
Almost wanting to ignore
The pain from knowing
Just what it’s like
To have trouble getting by.

Sleep well sister.
Carry on
And stay strong
Because you deserve to smile
And shine on.

Written by : Violet

Feel Something Real

The silence is unbearable
Yet it provides so much comfort
To my soul that is constantly
Trying to look within

I’ve always been alone
Even when the faces
That pretended to be me
Kept me company

But now I hear no one
And I see nothing
Not even in my own reflection

The mirror
Is just a reminder
Of how much I hate
The girl inside
That just wants to die

I can’t push away
How I really feel
Just so I won’t
Let you down

It will keep
Eating me alive
Until I reveal
The truth
Behind my fake smile

So I open myself up
To even more hurt
By sacrificing my pain
Putting it on display
For all the world to see
In my last attempt
To feel something real