Tag Archives: pain

Haunted In My Dreams

You wake in my mind
Every time I lay down at night.
Your face it haunts me
And never lets me forget
The way you made me feel.
It will seem so real.

But then the day begins
And I’m left helpless again.
Wondering where you are
Yet trying to leave you behind.

I’m going out of my head
Trying to get you out of my bed.
Maybe it’s time I turn out the light.
I know I’ll have to put up a fight.

But maybe I don’t want you to go.
I’m conflicted more than you know
But I feel that you don’t care at all
You never did as you watched me fall.

You pretend that I don’t exist.
It hurts to know that I’m not missed.
But I have to move on from this pain
Because I know there’s nothing to gain.

I’m just holding on to a lie.
I’m hoping this is goodbye
But I know that you’ll be back soon
As soon as I go to my room
And lay my head down on my pillow
Closing my eyes and wishing you away.
If only you wouldn’t stay
Then I’d have a peace of mind the next day.

 

Written by : Violet

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Taking The Blame

It’s always my fault
When she’s in a rage
I must be the one
To take the blame
Or else she will crumble
And do it again
Just a child
With no way to defend
Against the monster
Where there’s no way to win

One day I hope
To get away
But for now I must suffer
And soak up the pain
The days pass by
And I still wonder why
My own mother
Would want me to die

Light In The Dark

They said it wasn’t real
But couldn’t even feel
The struggle that was faced
And hidden away
Even from myself.

Delusional in the mind
Because I went far away
Into a place inside myself
Where I could feel safe.

Only seeing my faults
They never saw the truth
Forcing me to play pretend.

In my own personal hell
The demons took control.
I was so lost in the noise
Feeding my addictions
And sleeping around.
No love to be found.

Taking away my dignity
Gagged and bound
And fucked all around.

Fucked in my head.
Fucked in my bed.
Fucked in my heart.
Fucked from the start.

Trying to regain control
But only making it worse.
Helping them push me under.
Completely unaware
Of the consequences
And the pain it would cause.

I pushed myself over the edge
Because I refused to recognize
The damage that had been done.

Escaping it all once again.
Believing I could finally move on.
Carrying a heavy burden
That constantly weighed me down
While losing myself in the process.

I just sort of faded in and out.

Falling away from the moment.
Keeping me away from my dreams
And everything I thought I could be.

Now that I’m finally free
I can see a light inside.

My soul on fire
Feeling the passion
Run right through me.

No longer wanting to hide.
Coming out into the open
And letting go.

Finally in control.
The world now sees me
For who I really am
Whether they want to
Accept it or not.

Fighting the resistance
I won’t back down.
Even if they tell me
Not to make a sound
I can’t stay silent now.

 

Written by : Ruby

Feel Something Real

The silence is unbearable
Yet it provides so much comfort
To my soul that is constantly
Trying to look within

I’ve always been alone
Even when the faces
That pretended to be me
Kept me company

But now I hear no one
And I see nothing
Not even in my own reflection

The mirror
Is just a reminder
Of how much I hate
The girl inside
That just wants to die

I can’t push away
How I really feel
Just so I won’t
Let you down

It will keep
Eating me alive
Until I reveal
The truth
Behind my fake smile

So I open myself up
To even more hurt
By sacrificing my pain
Putting it on display
For all the world to see
In my last attempt
To feel something real