Tag Archives: trauma

Good Enough

Tired of being left in the dark
All alone with this tainted heart
That bleeds colors no one will ever see.

Will I ever know the person that is me?
That hides beneath all of this madness.
Just waiting for the right moment to come out
When no one is looking too closely.
But they are always looking too closely.

Everything seems so far away sometimes.
Because nothing seems real when you’re on your own
In a world that lets you down time and time again.

Shattering every hope and every dream.
It’s always changing, and always screaming
That you are just not good enough.
Never good enough to finally be free.

 

Written by : Violet

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Wasted Space

Time will only tell
If I come out of this alive.
Would anyone care if I died?
No one knows..
No one knows..

I’m never enough
But always too much.

Didn’t you hear I like it rough?
So bring on the destruction.
Make it so I no longer function
In a world that never wanted me anyways.
Might as well let me go and let it be.

I’ll be the face that’s never seen
And the voice that’s never heard.
Already given up on my dream.
You’ve pushed me so far away from me.

I’m Just Fine

Why can’t I stop before it’s too late?
I’m always going well beyond my limits.
Stomach feels like it’s bleeding through.
But I see nothing.
I feel nothing
But an invisible pain.

I cry cry cry
But no one knows the struggle inside.
I fall apart
But no one ever sees it for what it really is.

Alone in my own world
Even when I try to let everyone in.
It just doesn’t work that way.
Sometimes I think I’ve made a big mistake.

Until I hear that I’m an inspiration
And then my eyes light up.
Feeling like I’m on fucking fire
Yet I’m burning in the flames of my own life.
Just trying to get by
Just trying to see the light
But it always seems to be passing by
As I look up to the sky
Wondering why?
Why? Why? Why?

One day I’ll fly
But until then I’ll cry
Just waiting and wishing
To mean it when I say I’m just fine.

Written by : Violet

Breaking Free

Tired of running from the truth.
Feeling so broken down and bruised.
But I have to let myself be free.
Release the fear built up inside of me.

It’s going to take a lot of patience.
But all I’ve been doing is waiting.
So I give myself the compassion I never got.
Reminding myself of how long I’ve fought.

Living on the edge of death is never easy.
I have to rid myself of the lies they feed me.
Take back that which was taken from me.
Close my eyes so that I can finally see.

Written by : Violet

You Only See What You Want To See

You don’t see me

For the me I am

Because you’re too busy

Judging what you don’t know

It hurts but I try not to let it show

 

 

Everyday I’m hiding for my safety

Hoping I won’t get locked up

For just being different

All because I survived

All because I didn’t want to die

 

 

But it doesn’t matter

That I was protecting myself

Because you don’t care

And would rather stay unaware

Instead of see the truth

That’s I’m beautiful as I am

Not damaged, not broken

These words are left unspoken

Because you don’t want to hear me

Because you don’t want to see me

You only see what you want to see

Instead of accepting me for me

 

Written by : Ashley

Knocked Up

sweaty hands
make sweaty babies
the grease and grime
of all that is untouched

pour me a cup
of your undying love
so I can pretend
that you are real

just a moment
of pleasure in the backseat
could result in the unwanted

i’ll be that child
who you would later deny
and put up for sale

time will pass
and you will push me away
because my existence
haunts you everyday

that man raped your soul
now you take it out on me
but I am just an innocent
who happened to drop in
on that day of horror

this is not my fault
but I will always feel like it is
as I scream and cry
these bloody tears
no one will ever hear me

they are too wrapped up
in themselves to even care
so I jump off this bridge
ready to fly with eyes closed
never to be seen again

 

Written by : Violet

Taking The Blame

It’s always my fault
When she’s in a rage
I must be the one
To take the blame
Or else she will crumble
And do it again
Just a child
With no way to defend
Against the monster
Where there’s no way to win

One day I hope
To get away
But for now I must suffer
And soak up the pain
The days pass by
And I still wonder why
My own mother
Would want me to die

Leaving Her Behind

Stripped
To The Bone
I Can’t See
Anything
Except For
This White Wall

I Don’t Know
What’s Coming
But I Know
It Can’t
Be Good

He Doesn’t
Make A Sound
So I’m On The Edge
Waiting
For The Next Attack

He Comes Up
Behind Me
And My Heart
Drops

I Run Away
From Myself
And Let Her
Take The Fall

He Loves
To Make
Me Watch
So I’ll Feel Guilt
For Something
That Isn’t
My Fault

It Doesn’t Matter
If He’s The One
To Blame
Because
I’ll Always Feel
Ashamed
For Leaving
Her Behind

She’s A Fighter
Unlike Me

At Least
That’s What I Tell
Myself
Because The Truth
Hurts
When You’ve Been Tortured
Into Believing
A Lie

Light In The Dark

They said it wasn’t real
But couldn’t even feel
The struggle that was faced
And hidden away
Even from myself.

Delusional in the mind
Because I went far away
Into a place inside myself
Where I could feel safe.

Only seeing my faults
They never saw the truth
Forcing me to play pretend.

In my own personal hell
The demons took control.
I was so lost in the noise
Feeding my addictions
And sleeping around.
No love to be found.

Taking away my dignity
Gagged and bound
And fucked all around.

Fucked in my head.
Fucked in my bed.
Fucked in my heart.
Fucked from the start.

Trying to regain control
But only making it worse.
Helping them push me under.
Completely unaware
Of the consequences
And the pain it would cause.

I pushed myself over the edge
Because I refused to recognize
The damage that had been done.

Escaping it all once again.
Believing I could finally move on.
Carrying a heavy burden
That constantly weighed me down
While losing myself in the process.

I just sort of faded in and out.

Falling away from the moment.
Keeping me away from my dreams
And everything I thought I could be.

Now that I’m finally free
I can see a light inside.

My soul on fire
Feeling the passion
Run right through me.

No longer wanting to hide.
Coming out into the open
And letting go.

Finally in control.
The world now sees me
For who I really am
Whether they want to
Accept it or not.

Fighting the resistance
I won’t back down.
Even if they tell me
Not to make a sound
I can’t stay silent now.

 

Written by : Ruby